Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The We is now Three!

It's March 20th, we are at my 39th week check up with my doctor, well not my doctor but the fill in for my doctor because my doctor just gave birth a few weeks ago. I digress..... so they tell me that Holden is looking rather large and that it could be difficult to deliver "naturally." After a few moments of well we could do this, we could schedule this .... somewhere in all this , the idea of a cesarean delivery is mentioned. According to Steve, I literally jump at the offer to have the baby today, March 20th at 4:00 pm. So we leave the office and I go home, realizing that tomorrow I will no longer be pregnant, and that I can't eat anything for the next 4 hours. We return to the hospital 4 hours later, and I'm in the freakout stage. Everyone in the waiting room is talking too loudly and too cavalierly for my liking. I'm ready to get to my room and start the process. What happened next was such a whirlwind, I'll try to put it down as best I can. 1.) Despite my wonderful blood pressure and blood flow, no one can get an IV started on me. 2.) apparently the fact that I got up and ate at 5:00 am this morning pushes me to the head of the line of selfish women who also want to have their babies delivered the easy way... i.e. we were supposed to go last, but those women ate later in the day 3.) I get wheeled into the OR and I meet my anesthesiologist, the man who will put the "spinal block" in my back. I meet a nurse or tech Tina, she holds me, while this man threads a catheter in my back to make the process as painless as possible. The epidural process was not painless and was like having a root canal done and it hurt like the Devil. Plus I'm totally exposed, for all to see, thankfully Steve is still waiting in the recovery room, he hasn't joined us yet. So after the spinal block goes in they have to lay me down STAT, this is where I'm completely numb and feeling rather claustrophobic and scared as all hell. I can't feel anything and everyone is asking if I'm ok, because I am very quiet. I'm in healthcare, I know I can regulate or control my anxiety levels with breathing but I'm freaking out!

My doctor arrives and there seems to be something wrong, the 2nd doctor is still performing a delivery and may not make it. But we have to push on there are 2 other women waiting for their c-sections, this must be done now....our window is closing...and did I mention I can't feel my legs. The second doctor rushes in and all systems are go. Also Steve enters the room and I hear someone yell at him, PUT ON A MASK, he finally joins me and I feel so much better but still with the freaking out thing going on. I'm so sedated that my right eye won't stay open. YES I'M FINE LADY, stop asking me, I don't like to lie but if you keep asking me I'm going to keep repeating I AM FINE.

I feel very little but my hearing is 100% so I hear "oh wow, he's way up there, this would have been a 30 hour labor only to have a c-section." So I look at Steve, "is he out?" Then I hear the loudest cry, I hear our son. He screams for an eternity and I forget my numbness, all my medical questions go out the window, I just want to see him. They bring around what looks like a baby with a crochety old man's face. After they clean him up, they bring him around again, still screaming until I say "Hi Holden" and then he's quiet.

And THAT Holden, is your birthday story........

This is Holden the first night in the house, all wide awake and non-fussy. He saves all the craziness for when I take care of him--with his father he is all fun and games.

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