This past Saturday Steve and I went to our second prenatal class. We got to the bottom level of Presbyterian Dallas, and shuffle around looking for our class while carrying 4 pillows and 2 blankets. We finally come to our room where there are 9 other scared looking people with pillows and blankets.
First of all it was nothing like the movies, we only got to sit on the floor with the pillows and blankets ONCE.
Secondly, we had a Juno in our class, as in a young girl who tried to be funny but wore everyone out with her stupid questions. For example, when discussing the Restricted Food/Items List, she raised her hand and asked about smoking marijuana!!!! Let's just say by the end of class it was all Steve and I could do to not run out of the class screaming. That rounded out the first of TWO classes. That's right in another week we had to return for more discussion on what would be the happiest day of our lives.
This time we only took one blanket and 2 pillows (its nice to know the body pillow has finally come in handy). We arrived fully prepared w/ water, 2 coffees (1 decaf/1reg) 2 bagels and a sugar cookie w/ icing for Holden. We took the seats the farthest away from the annoying girl (apparently so did everyone else because there was a nice shield of empty chairs around her.) This time she brought her mom with her, because her fiance is in Afghanistan. See how much I know about her? She literally talked non-stop the first time we met her. Anyway I digress, we get to see the cringe-worthy birth film and they inteview 3 families about childbirth and post childbirth. We see a loving couple, who is excited, we see a single mom and Steve gets his first view of stretch marks. "Tina, what is that stuff on her stomach?" "Oh those? Yeah, those are stretch marks." "Her stomach looks like an alien, or something...." Oh the joys of pregnancy. Then we see another couple but these people look really awkward and admit that post childbirth has strained their marriage somewhat. They literally look into the camera announce this and uncomfortably face each other and then look away. Can we show delivery again or something a little lighter?
Finally the class is over and we take our book that includes a Birth Plan. Ok, this is one of those things like the father cutting the cord, or catching the baby that has become the latest trend. This birth plan is a list of everything you want done or not done while you are in labor. When did this happen? Don't I have enough to do without telling my nurses and doctor how to do their job?
So I leave you know to work on this "plan," hopefully it won't be too long because apparently that is a faux pas.