Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Maybe we didn't need to know so much.....

This past Saturday Steve and I went to our second prenatal class. We got to the bottom level of Presbyterian Dallas, and shuffle around looking for our class while carrying 4 pillows and 2 blankets. We finally come to our room where there are 9 other scared looking people with pillows and blankets.
First of all it was nothing like the movies, we only got to sit on the floor with the pillows and blankets ONCE.
Secondly, we had a Juno in our class, as in a young girl who tried to be funny but wore everyone out with her stupid questions. For example, when discussing the Restricted Food/Items List, she raised her hand and asked about smoking marijuana!!!! Let's just say by the end of class it was all Steve and I could do to not run out of the class screaming. That rounded out the first of TWO classes. That's right in another week we had to return for more discussion on what would be the happiest day of our lives.
Round Two
This time we only took one blanket and 2 pillows (its nice to know the body pillow has finally come in handy). We arrived fully prepared w/ water, 2 coffees (1 decaf/1reg) 2 bagels and a sugar cookie w/ icing for Holden. We took the seats the farthest away from the annoying girl (apparently so did everyone else because there was a nice shield of empty chairs around her.) This time she brought her mom with her, because her fiance is in Afghanistan. See how much I know about her? She literally talked non-stop the first time we met her. Anyway I digress, we get to see the cringe-worthy birth film and they inteview 3 families about childbirth and post childbirth. We see a loving couple, who is excited, we see a single mom and Steve gets his first view of stretch marks. "Tina, what is that stuff on her stomach?" "Oh those? Yeah, those are stretch marks." "Her stomach looks like an alien, or something...." Oh the joys of pregnancy. Then we see another couple but these people look really awkward and admit that post childbirth has strained their marriage somewhat. They literally look into the camera announce this and uncomfortably face each other and then look away. Can we show delivery again or something a little lighter?
Finally the class is over and we take our book that includes a Birth Plan. Ok, this is one of those things like the father cutting the cord, or catching the baby that has become the latest trend. This birth plan is a list of everything you want done or not done while you are in labor. When did this happen? Don't I have enough to do without telling my nurses and doctor how to do their job?
So I leave you know to work on this "plan," hopefully it won't be too long because apparently that is a faux pas.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Texas Hold Em

Today marked the first day Steve and I were expected to return to work after the holidays. So of course we scheduled our sonogram to cut our work day to under 8 hours. Everyone else at our doctor's office had the same idea as the waiting room was packed w/ other pregos and expectant dads. After waiting awhile, they call my name and no sooner do I reach the hallway did I pipe up "can we have a DVD, please?" You see with the technological advances these days, you can have your sonogram recorded on that slick paper and on a timeless DVD. But you have to act quickly, anyone who's ever visited a doctor's office will find that those people are quick and to the point, you pause-- you lose. This goes double for OB/GYN offices. Once I paused to put my shoes on , after being weighed and my nurse left me and I had to chase after her, so I could find my exam room. But I digress....

So we get ready to see our son, and are left only to wait, again. Finally our doctor arrives and quickly and to the point-ly, he gets to pushing on my tummy. He ooh and ahs and says, "Oh this looks good, no problems, etc etc." "Do we know what we're having?"
I say "a boy?" "Yes, you're still having a boy."
You hear about these horror stories where they tell you the wrong sex and that would stink because we've already picked out a name. In fact we've picked out a name, have been teased and at times harrassed about the name. So we have grown attached to it or at the very least have witty comebacks, now.

Nothing else that day was as eventful as seeing Holden in black and white-we even saw an ear this time. That is until Steve came home and announced that Holden has yet anthor suggested nickname. I say another-- because my sister said she intends to call our son HP the laser jet. Anyhoo-- when Steve was talking about our son's name at work his boss tells him that his nickname could be ... Texas...as in Texas Hold 'em. (get it Hold-en, Hold 'em)
I'll just put that in our birth plan...instead of congratulations..its a boy... they should say
HERE COMES THE FLOP!